Reserved
For some reason, during my adolescence, up until high school, I was a more extroverted and interesting person. I was often told by my classmates that I was humorous and fun, but interestingly, the older generation saw me as a “well-behaved child,” which was a stark contrast to how my classmates perceived me. This might have been influenced by the cultural values I grew up with, such as the hierarchy between elders and juniors.
However, after becoming an adult, I gradually became more reserved, and to others, I might even come across as a quiet person. As I matured, my perspectives shifted. Instead of aiming to be an interesting person, I wanted to become a calm and reliable one. But this doesn’t mean I stopped being interesting. People’s personalities are rarely one-dimensional; most are complex, and I am no different.
I behave differently depending on the situation. I can be outgoing and fun in specific situations or with certain people. For instance, if my job requires me to be enthusiastic and friendly, I will do so because it aligns with the professional expectations. Additionally, if we are familiar with each other and have built enough trust, you will also see the humorous side of me. When necessary, I will express my views clearly and logically. But when I’m just being myself, I am often considered reserved.
Another trait that comes with being reserved is calm. I am a calm and composed person who is good at thinking—I have strong logic and insight, which also contributes to my ability to learn quickly. I pay attention to details, remain emotionally stable, am responsible, independent, and able to maintain self-discipline and control (maybe this is why I have always enjoyed working out).
In fast-paced work situations, where there are many tasks to complete within a set timeframe, my calmness and ability to think have played an important role. Some people, despite being capable under normal circumstances, might freeze and stop working when faced with immense pressure. I’ve witnessed this more than once. I’m not criticizing these people; this is a common phenomenon, and everyone has their own strengths. My calm personality, however, allows me to think effectively under great pressure and solve problems step by step. This is also why I can handle demanding jobs.
Almost everything in life has two sides, and personality is no exception. I have also realized a downside to my reserved nature, which is passivity. I don’t easily take the initiative to express my emotions. I value actions more than words, so I try to express myself through actions rather than through speech. But what if the situation is one where I can’t express myself through actions? This is just one aspect of this flaw, and there might be more serious issues that I will discuss in future articles.
Cautious
A reserved and calm personality is often accompanied by another trait, which is caution. I am a cautious person. Before doing something, I try to gather as much relevant information as possible, carefully plan it out, and only then do I proceed with the task.
For example, in my another article, I mentioned taking a driving road test. Before the test, I read the entire traffic regulations guide several times, searched online for local road test tips and potential scenarios during the test, watched various first-person perspective videos to understand what the test would be like, and arranged as many sessions with driving instructors as possible. Sometimes, I even booked different instructors to get various perspectives, and I would ask a lot of questions to clarify my doubts.
My cautious nature allows me to minimize risks when I take action. Sometimes, even when speaking, I think about whether what I’m saying is prudent. If you need me to help with something, I can confidently say you can absolutely rely on me.
However, this caution has also brought me some frustration. The first issue is a delay in taking action because I need to gather information, assess the likelihood of success, and think things through. These processes take time, and sometimes, I miss opportunities that are fleeting, and some opportunities are rare and hard to come by. Moreover, well-thought-out plans can’t always keep up with changes.
The second issue is risk avoidance. My caution leads me to avoid things with a lower success rate, even if it’s something I truly want and something worth taking a risk for. Most of the time, I tend to avoid such opportunities.
The third issue is over-analyzing, especially when I encounter something important that I am completely unfamiliar with. I tend to gather a large amount of related information and overthink the problem. I’ve also realized that this might stem from perfectionism. I not only set high standards for the outcome but also expect the process to be relatively perfect. In the end, the result is that I find it too difficult, and I give up without even trying, or I easily get discouraged because my expectations were too high. In reality, the problem might be very simple, but I overcomplicated it through excessive analysis.
After realizing these issues, I’ve been reminding myself.
Trustworthy
Another trait that comes with a reserved, calm, and cautious personality is being trustworthy. I place great importance on trust. As I mentioned earlier, I aspire to be a calm and reliable person, someone you can trust. That’s why I take the promises I make very seriously. I also avoid making promises lightly or, if needed, I lower your expectations because I want my promises to truly mean something—a commitment you can count on.
I strive not to lie; perhaps this comes from the way my parents raised me. No matter what mistake I made or trouble I caused, as long as I was honest with them, their first reaction wasn’t to scold me but to help me. That’s how I developed the habit of not liking to lie.
I also highly value sincerity in personal connections.
I don’t know if you’ve ever had this kind of experience: Someone once expressed goodwill toward me in a way that was incredibly awkward. It was clear that this person wasn’t good at such things or was feeling nervous. If I had to grade it as a presentation, it might have only scored 50 out of 100. But despite its clumsiness, it served its purpose—I genuinely felt the kindness behind it.
Looking back on that moment, I still feel deeply grateful to that person. It made me wonder: How could such an awkward expression still convey its true intention so completely? Then I realized—it was because of the sincerity behind it. And when I recall this experience and feel gratitude, it’s also because of the sincerity that person put into it.
I want my words to carry weight, and to do so, I must ensure my words are reliable and trustworthy.